Where are your Priorities?

I just read a quote from Jamie Lee Curtis; she basically said she always put family first and that’s just the way it is. I think setting your priority at the right place, or at the place you will consider most important in hindsight, is the most difficult decision and process for individuals who strive for success in our society. I admire Curtis for her determination.

I just started reading The Pledge by Michael Masterson. Apparently even he has had trouble putting enough time in for his family, while working hard for success and happiness. He is the expert in teaching to set goals and to organize time to fit all that is of primary importance in your life, mostly success and financial independance in his case, yet personal relationships and family time are still issues he is working on finding a balance in. So I guess my problems in this matter are more common than I thought.

I have been struggling for ages with this. Ever since my ex-husband (then still my husband) blurted out “where are your priorities as a mother” to me, the thought carves a hole in my heart each time it resurfaces. Now, as a single mother and career-oriented woman, I struggle with my life priorities constantly. My children need me but I also need to work, work hard to bring in money, work harder as a woman in the workforce and work hardest as a woman without spousal support. So where do I even have energy left for my family? Between housework, preparing meals, cleaning-up, homework, activities and school meetings, forget about a social life and time to breathe, where is there time to spend quality time with my children?

At our latest pilgrimage to Rigaud’s famous outdoor church where I traditionally pray for guidance and support for my family, I asked my 8 year old son to pray for something he truly wanted. He asked for an iPod Touch (which he had been asking for close to a year, so it was very important to him) and he asked that I leave my job to be with him more often.  That no longer meant a hole in my heart, it was a bare hand pulling my heart out from within my chest. I had some damage control to think about.

And so my new quest for a different orientation to happiness began.  I don’t have to put aside my ambitions, my dreams, the work that I have already put into advancing my career. I have to re-evaluate my position and find what is best for me and my new priority, my family. My new objectives will be different but I will work at moving forward in the same way I always have. The world around me will just have to adapt. 

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4 Responses to “Where are your Priorities?”

  1. Nanci-jean says:

    Thank you for this Carmen! I had to do that this weekend…I was feeling stretched so thin between things I thought I wanted to do… Well I still want to do them, but I had to revisit my priorities and just focus on them. A sense of peace came over after doing that :)

  2. [...] post archives… How did I feel back then? My articles had a lot to tell. I found this one: Where are your Priorities? My heart sank for a moment as I read it, almost two years after having written it.  I was in the [...]

  3. Majorshadow says:

    Song “Stand” a song about facing adversity.
    Hear it @ URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3MxZcls24o

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