Value and Validation

Why have I brought up these two words?  Value and Validation…

I am still working on my life decisions and these two words came up.

Value: What is my worth, actual and (separately) perceived?  This is all about my self-esteem. My actual worth may be completely different than my perceived value. The scale may tip either way, but I am ready to bet that most of us perceive our self-worth as being less than the actual value that others would give us. That is low self-esteem and the cause of much unhappiness in our lives.

“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.”  – Confucius

Validation: Why do I need confirmation for my thoughts or actions from others?  By doing this I am expecting an outside source to increase my value, my self-esteem. I don’t have to explain why this is a bad thing, do I? Yet we (most of us including myself) do it quite often.  While working on my decision, I constantly imagine the comments and feedback of others. I integrate them in the decisional flow instead of leaving them out and giving freedom for my own thoughts to support me in the process. Why is validation from others so important to me?  Why do I attach so much value to validation even if it sometimes goes against my grain?

I spoke about recognition and gratification yesterday and this is where validation comes in. Recognition increases my perceived self-value and acts as superficial gratification. As it doesn’t come from within, it doesn’t have a powerful, meaningful or lasting affect on me. It is just a way to validate myself temporarily for my thoughts, my actions and to support me in the direction I “think” I want to take.

In view of my upcoming decisions, it is important for me to work on my self-esteem, to find ways to establish my self-worth in a solid way, to ground myself and focus on my path. This should help me cut off the need to find validation outside. My check marks will have to come from within!

On a side note: I thought of social media as an incredible way of increasing self-esteem. Sites like Facebook and LinkedIn are incredible ways to promote ourselves; “Look at me”, “Look at what I’ve done”, “Look at how many friends I have”, “Recommend me”! LinkedIn is particularly good at helping us sell ourselves in our career path. Our work is one aspect of our life that “establishes” how valuable we are to the world.  See how you can get good and even better at promoting yourself and increasing your self-worth on LinkedIn with LinkedInfluence.

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