Solving Frustrations through Journal Writing

After having written about turning venting into a productive experience, I thought of all the situations where I would need to vent and how I use writing to prevent specific frustrations from repeating. I think this is a piece of information many of us can use!

Frustrations can happen at any point and there is no way to be completely immune to occurrences that will pump us up to the point of exploding. People who know me will vouch for the fact that I can be very patient at times, but that there will definitely be a boiling point! When this happens, you need to find a way to cool the negative emotions down…  Today, I can proudly say that other than the occasional serious look that colleagues know to stay away from,  I let (my frequent) frustrations slide more easily and I focus on TheNewHappyMe!

Frustrations or stressers may derive from someone’s actions, purposeful or inadvertant, or there may be situations out of everyone’s control. Sometimes our venting may affect loved ones. In either case, you need to find a formula to keep peace, your health and sanity.

As communicating isn’t the easiest thing to do during a “volcanic” eruption, you can’t always rely on talking it out. You may of course talk to yourself while pacing frantically, but I doubt it’s the ideal method! Banging your head on the wall hoping it will all go away is not good either!!

Journal Writing is a tool to help calm down, to identify the issues and to find options to solve them.  Use your Journal to write down what is causing the frustration. Vent.  Then try to answer these questions (see examples in italic):

  • What or who am I frustrated at, really? Do I have the right to blame anyone?
    (I am stuck in traffic every morning, nobody is to blame, but I yell at every single driver around me! I’m upset that I always have to be commuting during rush hour. Writing about this makes it easier to accept because I realize there is truly nothing I can do about this, or maybe there is… What are my options?)
  • What are my responsibilities in this situation? Did I do something to cause my own frustration or are my attitude or beliefs causing me to react in this negative way? Can I change my attitude to make it easier for me to handle? 
    (My priority is to work and my children just don’t get it! They ask for too much of my time. How am I supposed to provide for them if I don’t get my work done? By writing in my Journal, I realize that my kids need their mother’s love, they aren’t doing it to be bad nor do they understand the concept of work for money. I need to change my attitude, reserve some time for them and some time for me to allow them to get my attention while understaing and respecting my boundaries when I need my time to work)
  • If someone other than myself is at fault, how can I communicate it to this person in a peaceful and productive way?
    My wife took my car out yesterday and left the tank empty, again. I was late for my meeting this morning because I had to fill up. I need to tell her that I need her cooperation on this… I can tell her I understand that she doesn’t like to fill up, and that’s okay. All I ask is to let me know ahead of time instead of having me scramble at the last minute. I want to feel more respected and loved.)
  • Is there anything I can do differently in the future to prevent this problem?
    I am frustrated because my heating bill is so high, it’s blowing my budget each month! Maybe I can discipline myself to turn down the heat while we’re not home and a bit at night…or I might invest in a digital programmable thermostat!

These questions give you a chance to step back and find solutions while you write the answers. While you conduct a self-talk to communicate the information as objectively as possible to yourself, you also prepare to communicate with any other individual you would need to talk with. The calming effect of writing helps to slow down the mind and to think logically and proactively.

Now that you know how to vent productively to turn it into a positive experience of gratitude while finding solutions, you are ready to tackle your own frustrations with more ease!  Let your world be your classroom! Each time you feel stressed or frustrated, write in your Journal and practice venting in writing!

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Related posts:

  1. How to Productively Vent in your Journal
  2. Writing “Thank You” in your Journal
  3. Journal Writing: How to start.
  4. Vision Board to Journal Writing
  5. The first words in your Journal

4 Responses to “Solving Frustrations through Journal Writing”

  1. mary says:

    Working MOM! If ur childern r young than yes they need most of ur attention.They go to bed then it is ur time.If u work outside of the home then u have a few hours to spend with the kids and make the best of it then till bed time.then it is ur time.If u work from home i really dont know what to say except to get a sitter or someone to occupy ur childern while u work.

    • Carmen Marie says:

      I agree with you Mary, we all definitely need to have a bit of time to ourselves. As a single and working mom myself, I have had to adapt with different method to get away. Although at first it takes some adjusting, both for me aqnd my kids (and my mom who tries to understand the whole new system!) it is well worth it. It helps you keep your sanity and have the time to work on yourself and your issues that require attention in your life. Thank you for your feedback Mary!

  2. mary says:

    Work frustrated!I work 4 a place where we call in temps when busy.Not the problem!The prob is that they get a list of names and the same People that we let go because of bad work or r more into socializing than working r coming back.My supervisor isnt happy and i’m just below him.If the upper management doesnt listen to him what can i do?My position is to train and manage the temps..I know what the prob is!When my boss request to have a temp removed for what ever reason HIS BOSS doesnt make a record of it.We r dealing with 2 shifts. 1st shift wont get back someone they let go because upper management remembers the bad workers.Being 2nd shift,because there r no records kept we get the bad back.

    • Carmen Marie says:

      Mary, the fact that you are writing about this, just like in a Journal, already says that you are well aware of the problem and that you have identified in detail where the solution must lie…. not to find the best way to lead you to eliminate to tremendous source of frustration.

      It is also good that you are venting, not keeping it bottled up. That would definitely get you sick. You must however start putting your energy more on the positive, ie finding a solution, then on the negative ie the problem itself. The more you think of the problem, the more it will keep a big space in your life.

      It is a very difficult situation where you need to keep diplomacy in hierarchy at the work place… I sympathize with you. I am in a similar situation where I am trying to find a solution by removing myself from the problem altogether. When the issues are overpowering and they affect your life in a negative way, so much that you are getting sick from it, is it time to remove yourself from the situation altogether?

      When you don’t like a relationship with a friend who wears you down, you take your distances. How can you take your distances from your job? What are your solutions? My solution became to stop thinking about the problems at my job and start thinking about TheNewHappyMe. If my boss wants to have work related issues at the office because of decisions I don’t agree with, that is ultimately his responsibility, not mine. (Read Quack like a Duck, find the aqrticle in search, I think you will like it.)

      By focusing on my positive experiences in life, I start attracting better days, I let the bad and frustrating days at work slide by, and you never know, this may help me remove myself from my job altogether one day!

      Write in your Journal Mary! i am sure you will find a solution! :)

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