From the get go, this topic was part of my planned series on issues that may cause you to stall on your Path to Happiness. Friends, as discussed a few weeks ago, play a huge role on our Journey. Some will support and help us through our endeavors, some will try to dissuade us or prevent us from doing what we would like to pursue.
Comments from a few readers brought to my attention how complicated our quest can become when we get caught up in the emotional ups and downs of Relationships and Friendship. Fear of getting hurt or hurting a loved one, getting influenced by others, needing acknowledgement, support or praise from Friends, wanting to please or making sure not to disappoint… these are some of the elements that will play on your Decision to DO or Not DO what you think is best for you today.
A very interesting question: “Is it okay for me to seek Happiness if it may hurt someone else?” In my effort to please everyone around me, I often forget about my Path to Happiness. This leaves me unhappy and discontent. What if I turn it around and see if my actions will indeed cause hurt, or if this is all in my head…
How will it hurt the other person exactly?
- If my Happiness will step over the basic freedoms of another person, there may be something wrong with my Path. Respect for others is a core value everybody should hold. My Happiness should not cause harm to someone else.
- Will the other person be disappointed or hurt that I didn’t follow their advice, that I didn’t do what they need me to do for them? Good Friends will understand my reasons, even if it ends up being a mistake. I may be worrying for nothing… If a Friend will cause a stink for this, then that person is not a Friend!
- If a Friend is giving me advice that goes against my feeling about a step I need to take, that’s okay. We can agree to disagree as good Friends. I don’t need to feel guilty about doing my own thing. I am the only person who knows what will keep me on the right path for me. If I make a mistake, it is my lesson to learn. That’s okay too.
- Will I expect to get acknowledgement or support on my efforts? What if my Friends don’t give me the praise I would like to receive? This should not hurt or dissapoint me… My motivation should come from within, not from how others will react to my actions. It also doesn’t mean that they feel hurt by what I have decided. Sometimes the Path itself will be rewarding enough and Friends may not understand or share those feelings. This is my Path, my Journey, not theirs. I will be happy just to be who I am and who I have become.
It isn’t selfish to seek Happiness. I’ve been told on many occasions that it is by finding my own Happiness that I will be able to offer more of my true self to others. I sincerely believe in this statement. I hope it helps you follow your path guilt-free too.