I Love ME; I take care of ME.

The very first sign of love is caring. When you love someone, you care about them. Right?

I am a caring person, I care about my loved ones.
I deserve the same attention. I deserve to be loved.
So why is it that I am the last person I pay attention to, that I care about and take care of… ?
How much love does that show to myself?
Am I accepting the idea that it is okay to not take care of me?
Am I relaying the message to others that it is acceptable to not take care of me?
Am I getting angry because I feel my loved one doesn’t care about me?
Am I wondering why my loved one doesn’t love me?
Is this situation making me unhappy?

Are these questions painful? Is your heart feeling the squeeze? Re-read the questions. Feel them. Digest them. You have to understand them as they relate to you and your life struggles.

Why do you care about everybody around you, not for you? Why do you let your environment’s stress overwhelm you?  Why do you accept to run like a chicken without a head instead of saying NO to a request? Why do you let a person’s negative energy get to you? Why do your priorities always take the back burner?  Why do you pay little attention to your self-esteem? Why do you not stop to smell the roses?

We so often do things for others and we don’t even take care of our own needs.  As we continue this trend, we let others believe that this is the way we want it. It is as if we take joy and pride in devoting our life to others. Does that sound familiar? How can we be angry at them when they continue to treat us in the same way? Our message has been clear. It is acceptable.

So what is acceptable for someone who loves herself?
Try: paying attention to my needs, pampering myself, getting enough rest to let my body recuperate, saying NO to any situation that will harm this harmonious state, working on boosting my confidence, learning new things, achieving personal goals, and so forth. I’ll let you think of all the wonderful things to make you happy.

My regular readers know what comes next: take out your Journal and write all the things you can do to show yourself how much you love yourself. Look at yourself as a third person if need be and think of all the attentions that would make you happy.  Look in the mirror and smile. Say: I LOVE ME! What would make me happy? Write down a long list of  ways you can show yourself how important you are in your life! As silly as this may sound at first, trust that the exercise will boost you!

P.S. Yesterday, in my Daily Hint of Happiness enewsletter, I wrote that I treated myself to a facial as a way to pamper myself and give my skin the attention it requires. It was a little luxury that allowed me to rest for 10 minutes and to be happy about the glowing healthy look I saw in the mirror.  Little things go a long way… it starts by saying I LOVE ME!

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6 Responses to “I Love ME; I take care of ME.”

  1. Carmen Marie says:

    Tough question to reply to because I don’t believe the answer lies on the fact that one is essential or not, but in which comes first. I believe the second cannot happen in a healthy way when the first does not exist.

    In other words, if I don’t love myself and take care of myself, if I blame myself, do not forgive myself, I do not respect myself, if I do not allow myself the opportunity to grow and the openness to accept love, how can I love and be loved?

  2. Carmen Marie says:

    Ara: here is a question for you, which is more essential

    the need to love self or the need to lover and be loved?

  3. Carmen Marie says:

    I agree that we are all different but I also believe that the notion of self-love must apply to everyone unconditionally. No matter what life experiences one has had, self love is essential for life and growth.

    Having said this, every person… has a different reason and a unique background that may prevent them from self-love. Guilt may be on the top of the list… along with traditional views of what is acceptable.

    When I write about my views on this, and I suspect when others do too, they relate to readers who may be going through similar situations, not necessarily everyone out there. Some readers may not even be ready to hear what I have to say, or may disagree entirely, and that is fine. My tone comes from a woman and a mother, a view that may very well not suit a man’s perspective, and that is okay too. These are just opinions and my suggestion is for my readers to do each their own work, to provoke thought and write what their mind wants to speak. The exercise can be quite beneficial… Doing your own work on yourself, as opposed to taking words as gospel will be a much better path to achievement and happiness on the long run!

  4. Carmen Marie says:

    Here is a comment made on facebook by a friend (Ara): not loving self mostly come from lack of self worth and esteem, although there are many reasons for it but like finger prints they are unique to each individual…….

    It is important to know and understand that there is no right or wrong wa…y to “how to feel”, you are who you are and you should be able to find out what works for you regardless what others might think or want you to think …. be true to self.

    As for the so called “expert” tips and opinions, they represent their world view of reality which is limited to their life experiences, its good to read them to know how others think or what they have experienced and even try to pick up whatever might apply to you, but to take their words as the “gospel” then be ready for underachievement and big disappointments because at the end we all are different……

  5. Peter Wright says:

    Carmen

    Just to let you know that although I am a mere male, I enjoy reading your posts and they do make a lot of sense to me.

    I must confess to not following your advice on facials and long baths though!

    Keep up the good work.

    • Carmen Marie says:

      As a mere woman, I try to speak from the heart and touch the lives of all my readers male and female… Thank you so much for your comment Peter!! Your feedback will allow me to see things in a different light…
      PS: a few years back you couldn’t pay me to get a facial and take a bubble bath!!

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