I don’t agree but I hear ya

Disagreements are a challenge for us to hear a different point of view without judgment.

Although disagreements are at first unpleasant, there is no reason to think that the better and more interesting discussions come from like-minded individuals. In reality, confrontation is what allows us to hear a different side, one that may enrich our experience of the subject matter.

Confrontation poses this question to you -  Did you think about this?

When friends are respectful of each other’s paths, knowledge, background, desires and needs, they can communicate their thoughts without sending hurtful messages. The disagreement is just a way of saying, I hear ya but I think you should consider this…

Of course, this interaction presupposes that:

  1. the communicator sends the message in a respectful way,
  2. the receiver is ready to accept the message,
  3. both parties are ready to speak their minds completely, freely and without judgment.

Within these conditions, confrontation will have a definite benefit with a potential of growth for all involved. The bond of friendship can only grow tighter as a result.


Related posts:

  1. The relief to hear a friend agree with you
  2. Life is Like Coffee
  3. I Love ME with compassion

2 Responses to “I don’t agree but I hear ya”

  1. Maria says:


    Funny I should read this today! I have a very diverse group of friends, friends that in their own way help shape who I am.

    Yesterday, I was speaking to M (a friend) and I was sharing with her how upset I had been at F (another friend) because F had made me doubt my parenting skills/techniques. She had me question myself as to whether certain decisions that I had taken with my son were correct. I tried to explain how I felt to M, how I spent a sleepless night contemplating my decisons and evaluating them and the possible outcomes, all because of a comment made by F. M’s answer to my situation was: friends that make us question ourselves and drain us of energy are not worth our time, why have them as friends?

    But my answer was pretty much along the same line as your thought for today: friends’ thoughts and opinions are meant to challenge us. Yes, they do give us “food for thought” and help shape who we are.

    So, thank you for putting down in words how I feel..and in your own way, you did contribute to “me” today.


    • Carmen Marie says:

      Maria, I am so happy that you shared your story.. The next article will probably ring true to you also.

      I myself just had a conversation with a friend this morning, where all my thoughts were being confronted. I am left having to re-evaluate practically my whole being!!
      What do we take, what do we not? and most of all, what emotions are making us doubt ourselves?

      Some friends will offer food for thought and some others will be better left at a distance. Only you can judge that for yourself given your needs and priorities.
      It may be time for you to think through certain things or it may just not be the right time for certain relationships at the stage you are in right now…

      Either way, I agree with you; friends, relationships and their input in our lives DO shape us and make us who we will be tomorrow, one molecule at a time!!

      xoxo Carmen

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