Happy to be Divorced

A friend of mine is going through the motions of mediation and needless to say, it has gotten both tiresome and frustrating for him (and maybe for her and all the others in their shared and respective immediate families).

I thought about the situation a little later and I heard myself saying: “You have to at least be happy you’re not with her anymore.”

Been there, done that… I know how it feels and I know it doesn’t just go away, at least not soon enough. Mediation is very draining but the emotions do indeed change once your attitude changes. The secret is exactly the phrase above: “Be happy you’re not together anymore!”

  • Isn’t this exactly why you split in the first place?
  • You’d be killing eachother by now had you stayed together…
  • Aren’t you glad you don’t have to deal with that anymore on a daily basis?
  • Isn’t it for the best that your family doesn’t have to feel the negativity of the fighting or the ignoring.  
  • Isn’t it amazing that you can easily shut the phone or the door on this person now, in an effort to distance yourself from the negative vibes?
  • What an amazing feeling to no longer be sharing your life with this person…
  • You can let the comments in one ear and out the other now… they can’t hurt you like a knife in the heart anymore.
  • As long as you don’t let the comments get to you, you keep your strong position, your sanity and clarity.

And so on…

In most cases I believe, separation originally comes from the hope that there is something better out there. One should not lose sight of that because indeed there is a better life, a more relaxed state of mind, better relationships, things and people to discover, a chance to start anew.

These are the positive outcomes of a divorce. How important it is to keep your focus on this as opposed to ruminating the frustrations. The idea is to emphasize on the elements that bring happiness even in a situation that may primarily look as a loss. Yes there may be a grieving period and yes solely your will to go beyond the sadness and the anger will deternine your success in finding happiness again. It is worth the effort I assure you.

Change your attitude to be happy in your new situation and see how fast the dynamics in mediation will change. it will leave your spouse speechless and defenseless towards your positive and strong outlook on an otherwise torturous event.

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Related posts:

  1. Learn to be happy – Rule #1
  2. Why The New Happy Me?
  3. Action-Reaction and the Happy Equation
  4. Finding a Happy Song

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