Dealing with Internal Conflict

Have you ever heard a little voice inside of you saying something is wrong?  You may not know exactly what it is, but you have a sick feeling in your stomach that something is just not right and you have to deal with it otherwise you will lose your sanity. You need to speak up about it, but for some reason you don’t or you can’t. The emotion builds up inside of you and you risk exploding or imploding very soon.

Internal conflict can cause a lot of damage when it is not dealt with. Usually, the internal conflict will happen when facts conflict with your core values. Sometimes, these emotions happen in the subconscious, so you’re not even aware of the internal fight. The body will then externalize the turmoil through physical symptoms, illness and anxiety.

You can create internal conflict when:

  • You are in denial about an issue. This is subconscious and difficult to bring to surface.
  • You make a conscious decision to ignore the facts and to deny.
  • You understand the facts, you do not ignore them but your decide not to talk for fear of getting hurt.
  • You understand the facts, you do not ignore them and you decide not to talk for other reasons like spite, envy, vengence.

In either one of these cases, some symptoms will appear indicating that something inside is just not right. Whether you are conscious of the conflict or not, the best way to try to deal with it is to write. Some cases may require additional help from a professional. Psychologists and Psychiatrists may also recommend writing for therapy. Of course, writing isn’t for everyone, but in this case, you do not need to write litterary masterpieces. You simply have to externalize thoughts. The more you write, the more thoughts will come out. If you don’t know what to write, go for something like: “I don’t know what to write, bla-bla-bla, this is boring, I have no idea why I am doing this… maybe… later… etc…” and try to continue your thoughts, even if then seem empty, until you catch a relevant topic that you can elaborate on. Watch out for new and unexpected thoughts. These might come out as a surprise and give you insight on what is happening inside. Open your eyes and your heart to listen to what the pen will tell you (or rather what your hand wants you to read).

This exercise may feel funny at first but it truly helps. I think it is very helpful when you are going through mild depression or anxiety and you want to find out what’s going on inside of you. Writing is always great therapy.


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6 Responses to “Dealing with Internal Conflict”

  1. Abigail says:

    Hi Marie!
    i’m in an extreme internal conflict,i once met a guy whom i had a crush since from 2009 while we were in grade 8 we were both the maths stars we even hosted the maths study,he then moved to Empangeni,we met again in2013 and we fell inlove but when he moved back his hometown he send me a message saying he has another girlfriend i know he is not dating he wanted to concentrate on schoolwork but i still like him,i dont feel like dating any other except,he is my best boy friend ever …what i do about the issue of burning with passion of a person who maybe doen’t think about you?

  2. Joshua says:

    Hey I am not sure if writing is going to help because i would have to keep it under the radar… I’m in a tight situation… a few years back I met a girl who I had a connection with the second I saw her… after my emotions got stronger towards her. Something happened and we lost contaxt we still saw everyonce a while in school but not a lot. Last I heard from her she said she was joining the airforce. Well I am married now and have a daughter. Recently I had a dream about the girl from back then. And after 2 weeks of searching the internet like a maniac I found her again. And instantly I fell in love again. … now I am struggling with being in love with a girl I haven’t seen in over two years and being married with a child. I do love my family but the feeling of love towards my wife is not nearly as strong as my love for that girl :-( I am afraid to talk to my wife because I know I’d break her heart/make her mad… any clue what I could do to resolve my issue :-( :-(??

    • Carmen Marie says:

      There may be a connection with this girl that is beyond logical explanation. I’ve read a lot about (and experienced myself) the concept of cellular memory that some people call memory from past lives. No matter what you believe in, the fact is that your brain believes there is something there. A hypnotherapist who can work on current and past life regression may be able to help you retrieve that memory. When situation transcends the logical and you can’t dig out the root cause of the conflict, it is important to seek professional assistance. I hope this helps.

    • Hirasawa says:

      Hi,I totally agree the 6 pitons, and I’m glad that I think I’m strong in #1, 4-6 but for #2 & 3, I really need to train it. For an internal auditor, I also think if you can talk to all level od staff easily, it helps you because sometimes you can get some important hints from your conversation !!

  3. Sam says:


    I’m going to follow these instructions since I’m in a state of extreme internal conflict created by a few of the above suggested causes. I’m 18 and my parents got divorced last year.I can’t afford a psychologist and I’m moving out of the country soon. What should I do?

    • Carmen Marie says:

      Hi Sam, Exactly as is written in the article, writing in a journal will help you get past the initial shock and make sense of what is happening. Try it.
      If you can get support from the outside, that’s even better. It will help you bounce off some of your thoughts and get another perspective on things.. You can do this!

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