Damn the F word!

F E A R

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood”
- Marie Curie

Baby steps allow me to stay on target, to move forward slowly but surely towards my goal. 

Baby steps also allow me to break down my fear into smaller segments that are more easily manageable.

The smaller the steps, the easier it is to understand each step to goal achievement. I have to look into possible outcomes, review the benefits of moving forward versus status-quo, and calculate the inherent risks of each possible decision. This thorough understanding of the current and potential situations, as explained by Marie Curie, is the formula to fighting fear.

When we start with any path towards a goal, we often, if not always, face the reality of coming out of our comfort zone. Our comfort zone is what what we know, what we already understand and what we are familiar with. Hence the importance of understanding the potential situations and outcomes to be able to expand our comfort zone just a bit further.

This reminds me of when I was thinking of dating again after my separation. I was a wreck. No self-esteem. Two children. Who would want to go out with me? If anybody did show interest, they would surely hurt me. I was hurt enough. I was really afraid of getting hurt again, of getting used or thrown away. I couldn’t handle another failure, not with two children under my care. I wanted to start dating again but the idea was too big and too scary to even consider. I had to break it down to baby steps.

A friend recommended an online dating site. This could be okay… I would remain in the comfort of my home and answer only to messages I felt comfortable to answer, no more. I understood the concept well and there were no risks. Benefits obviously outweighed status-quo; it was basically either to meet people online versus to stay at home like a hermit. So I took the baby step. I took a picture of me, I opened an account. I waited for messages. Not so bad after all… I started by conquering the fear of making myself  “available”.

My next baby step was to actually message men I considered interesting by their profile. This would mean making the first contact, but still from the comfort of my home. Still not much risk. If I didn’t take the step, I could kiss dating goodbye. So I took that step too. Then a phone call, then a date… each baby step became easier to handle and my comfort zone slowly expanded. I conquered fear one baby step at a time. 

So next time you are dreaming of reaching a goal but you are frozen with fear, break it down into baby steps. Damn the F word. Why should it stop you from accomplishing the one thing that will make you happy? Annihilate it one baby step at a time and continue on your path to happiness!

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