Do you remember the last time you were proud of something you did? What did it feel like? Can you see yourself smiling thinking of the time when this happened? Were you so happy you couldn’t wait to tell everyone around you about it? The feeling is sometimes so amazing it could get addictive.
Being proud of your accomplishments is a huge part of the New Happy Me path. Your emotions at events define your life experiences, not the events themselves. Pride is one such emotion that gives tremendous value to your life experiences. It is an emotion that energizes, offering a benefit in the present, and that motivates, a boost for the future. Pride also carries positive energy from your past, giving value to your accomplishment and life experience, encouraging you to repeat it. In addition, pride allows others to share in your joy, providing you with tremendous support from loved-ones who will be accompanying you again when you decide to continue on the path you have started. I think you will agree, being proud of your accomplishments is a good feeling!
This week, I accomplished a lot. I got acknowledgement from many people, but for some reason I felt empty. I have been dealing with many emotions lately and maybe with stress and fatigue, my mind started playing games on me. Nevertheless, I still felt like I should be on top of the world after having accomplished all that I did. Then a few thoughts came to mind; What am I waiting for to be happy and proud about what I did? Whose acknowledgement am I waiting for? What kind of acknowledgement is it that I want or need to fill this hole? To all these questions, one simple answer: whatever it is that I am waiting for is outside of me yet pride is a personal emotion that does not depend on an outside source. Therefore, I am looking for the wrong thing.
What I mean to say is that happiness and pride in our accomplishments should come from within. The emotions come from how we personally feel about what we did, not from what someone else thinks. Of course, outside acknowledgement will reinforce the emotion but it does not create it. This also means that if I originally have not created that emotion in me, if I am not feeling pride in what I have done, outside acknowledgement will basically be worthless. In my case, I did feel pride but I was also consumed by anger and frustration which overpowered the positive feeling of pride. I gotseveral wonderful comments from friends but these didn’t sink in. I realized that I left the hole in my gut empty, covered with a blanket of anger and frustration, not letting myself internalize the pride nor letting any of my friends’ messages sink in. The hole remained.
Christmas eve being a time of reflexion for me, I have to deal with the emotions. Identifying the reason behind my abnormal inability to be happy for my accomplishments has been quite revealing and will help to deal with the issues. Sometimes situations and emotions can seem very complicated, but in reality, a quick analysis can reveal the simple adjustment required to bring everything back to a healthy New Happy Me!
Merry Christmas everyone!