And the Oscar goes to….

My daughter was excited about the Oscars on Sunday night and frankly, I wasn’t really sure why.  She’s still too young to know much about the stars, film editing, directing, all the different aspects of production or the nomination categories.  Could she be watching to see the dresses??

It made me think of possible motivations of a 12 year old and, putting on my TheNewHappyMe cap on, I think I figured it out.  The Glamour! As a teen, she may be attracted to the rich and famous for the look they portray, their beauty, their seemingly perfect lives and the money to buy everything their heart desires. The perfect illustration of success! Or is it?

Although everyone agrees that success by definition means the completion of an endeavour with favorable results,  not everyone holds the same measuring tape.  There is no standard to define degrees of success and this gives the word a very subjective and personal trait.

For most, fame and fortune constitutes success. For others, money alone is the prime indicator. Happiness is my personal gauge of success and I make it a point to enjoy all the little glories of achievement at each milestone on my journey. Obviously, my definition of success is very different then that of others.

Through the I Love ME process, I have learned that my true success comes from things that make me happy and proud to be me. For example, the money itself won’t make me happy, but the knowledge that I worked hard to get it, that I used my smarts, that I built relationships and that I made it through challenges to make the money (no matter what amount) will.  I don’t need to receive an Oscar and be featured in all media to be happy either (I’m not even in the industry!), but being called on stage to receive flowers from a group of students I helped on their talent show is incredibly rewarding and heartwarming. These are my indicators of success.

Movie stars, directors, musicians and other film industry partners who work hard on the amazing productions we see featured for nomination, also have their own success indicators. Their journey has been a long and arduous one and the fruit of their labour will be different than mine. Not better, just different. In my great accomplishments, following a difficult path, I may be as happy and feel as successful as an Oscar nominee! 

Now let’s try to explain that to a 12 year old…!


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2 Responses to “And the Oscar goes to….”

  1. Peter Wright says:

    Another good post Carmen and a very important subject.

    Being raised in Africa, Hollywood and the Oscars did not mean very much to me. If anything, the infrequent glimpses we might have got of that glamorous world left a totally different impression from success or achievement!

    At the age of 15 my elder son was starting to get interested in girls, music and spending money. I was not prepared to increase his allowance and he was reluctant to work more hours at low pay in neighbours’ gardens.

    At the start of school holidays, he came to me with a plan to sell small consumer items at a roadside stall on a busy country road near our home. (This was both permitted and encouraged in certain places then). He asked me for a loan to fund his initial purchases.

    I loaned him $50, thinking that I might get it back at the end of the holidays and went off on a week long business trip.

    Imagine my surprise when on my return, he gave me my $50 back, had sold his entire inventory at a good profit then bought and sold more stock.

    At weekends and during holidays for the next year, he made enough money to buy a sound system, a colour TV (expensive then) pay for an active social life, save money and finally pay for a limousine to take him and his girlfriend to his graduation ball.

    He also took a vendor who had defrauded him to small claims court, argued and won his case and then followed up with a collection agency to get his money.

    My $50 loan with my encouragement to go for it taught him more and better lessons for life and business than his subsequent college education.

    I am so pleased he was not besotted with the Oscars!

    • Carmen Marie says:

      Wow! Incredible how good values go a long way!
      My daughter eventually turned away from the Oscars after a little while but she seemed to have gotten tempted by her peers to start. Fashion, clothes and make-up… it’s the age of peer pressure, watching what the Hollywood stars are doing, what makes one look cool… she will soon realize it is all superficial, so unimportant in the bigger picture and so irrelevant in being true to yourself.
      Thanks for the amazing story Peter!

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